Random Thoughts of Kurt Shinn

One of the dumbest haircuts I have ever seen is the Faux hawk or Fo Hawk.  Im not sure thats how you spell it, but its such a stupid look I dont even want to look it up to see how to spell it.

Heres how the faux hawk started.  Just about every hairstyle imaginable has been tried over the last 10 years.  Some have caught on and some have not.  When there is a new hairstyle, it seems as if you first spot a few people with it and it may seem kind of odd.  But after you see it enough, it just becomes normal looking.  The mullet is a good example.  The “Business in the front, Party in the back” look turned some heads initially but the more you saw it there was actually a brief dark period when it was popular.  Remember the hairdo of Kid N Play?  that was bad and it never caught on.  Even the regular mohawk, as dumb as it was, doesnt turn heads anymore.

But who actually thought to themselves “Hey I want to try something different”, and then proceeded to gel their hair to a point  at the top of their heads?  And then went out in public?  It actually makes them into a pointy conehead.  And it takes time to get it that way. 

You know how some people look back at pictures and say “I cant believe I parted my hair in the middle” or “I cant believe I had an afro”?  Well people are going to look at their faux hawk pictures in a few years and want to send out apology letters to everyone they ever came into contact with.

There is a weatherman in the Twin Cities with one of these and I am actually embarrassed for him whenever I see him.  I can’t even listen to him deliver the weather because I have to turn away.  It screams “Im trying to be trendy but I have no more imagination than to comb the hair to a point of the top of my head”.

The other day I was at a major league baseball game.  The middle innings can get slow, the stadium gets a little quieter,  and people’s attention starts to wander.  As I was watching the special announcements on the scoreboard I heard a familiar sound – the roar of the wave. It amazed me that 25 years after I first witnessed the beauty of the ‘wave’,  people still seemed as excited as ever to participate.  Its funny to watch the anticipation on people’s faces as the wave gets nearer and nearer to them… and then they finally get the opportunity to jump up, raise their hands and sit back down.  Then the anticipation grows again until the wave makes its way all around the stadium.

There are many different styles of participation.  There are those who give a half-hearted effort either because they don’t want to let the other 30,000 strangers down, or because they really want to do it, but feel kind of stupid doing it.  Then there are those people whose eyes light up and they yell loundly when they get to stand up.  Then there are those who just enjoy getting out of their seats because they hate baseball to begin with and the wave is the most fun they had all night.

There is always the initiator.  The guy who started it in his section and brags to his buddies becasue he started it.  This time there was a Forrest Gump type guy who ran across the aisle as it came time for each section to stand up.  Soon the wave was faster than him and he would retreat back to his starting point.  The only reason I call him Forrest Gump was because he had this set of keys dangling from his belt and when he ran, it looked as if he had just learned how to do it that morning.  All i could think of as he ran across the aisle was “Run Forrest run”.

A couple years ago I thought that Minnesota was the only stadium left that continued to do the wave..  I figured since everything hits minnesota about 7 years after it hits the rest of the world, it is possible that the wave is still popular here.  But I have been to a few stadiums since and I can verify that it is actually done in other major league parks.  Although I cant really say that Kansas City is a barometer for ‘trendy’.  I just have to assume that the wave is one of those phenomenons that will last forever.

The first Reality TV show that I can remember was Survivor.  I think it was Survivor that made the phrase “Getting kicked off..” part of our culture.  That concept in itself was brilliant.  In fact I would love to carry that concept one step further and make it part of our daily lives.  Its cleansing, its therapeutic and most of all its fun.  Its a great way to get rid of things you don’t want without any hassle.  Just Kick them Off.

Who wouldnt love to have this at work?  I can’t imagine a better way to get rid of the people you hate to spend 8 hours a day with.  Everyone must have that older someone who is overbearing, frustrating and bossy – kick him off.  Does the person next to you smell bad or make funny noises all day?  You don like the way someone dresses?  Vote them off.  At the end of every week, the office gets together and votes someone off.  It keeps the bad performers out and lets you bring in someone new.  If  you finish a big project or correct someone else’s error, you get immunity for that week.   I can think of enough people to vote off to last 4 seasons.

How about prison?  At the end of every week the prisoners vote someone to the outside – freedom! Imagine the bartering that would go on all week.  That would be some good TV.

There are problems in Utah with these guys having 10 or 12 wives.  Every week he would have to vote one wife out until he ended up with just one.  The free wives could then go out and become someone elses wife and it gives them another  chance to make the final cut.

Everyone has that annoying Uncle Walt that shows up to Thanksgiving with his shirt hanging out and insulting everyone through dinner.  Rid yourself of holiday headaches by voting someone out of your family every week.

Reality TV can teach us to simplify our lives.  Every week get rid of an article of clothing, some food in the refrigerator, a piece of furniture and something in a garage.  In a year you will only be left with the necessities.

I used to work in a company where one of the Division heads always got rid of the bottom 10%.  At some point, those who were in the middle or perhaps even the top can become the bottom 10%.  he felt that it was time to turn those people over.  All it really taught me was that i didnt want to be in his division.

tomrorrow’s subject – texting

Charity is a wonderful thing.  Its part of society’s great equalizer.  Those who ‘have’ give part of what they have to those who ‘have not’.  Im sure that through history, charity existed even back in the days of the caveman.  Ugga, who himself may not have been a great hunter got dinosaur meat and tasty bugs from his neighbors, the Ooga’s who had more meat than they needed for themselves. Then there was that Bible story about robbing Peter to give to Paul (or vice versa).   Now we have charitable organizations where people donate time or goods or money to help the less fortunate.  Living in Minnesota, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting some type of charitable organization.  It makes it a great place to live if you are trying to get back on your feet or in need of some help.  Unfortunately it makes it a breeding ground for those who feel they can use other’s generosity for their own gain.

One of my first weeks in New York, just out of college I was walking down in the Wall Street area.  There I saw a guy about my age with his gucci luggage piled next to him.  He was well-groomed and wearing a suit, and he held a sign that said “Will work for food”.  That bothered me for weeks.    But here was a guy who probably was educated just as I was but just couldnt get his start.  And there I was working in the World Trade Center in a fancy office.  I guess that still bugs me today and I often wonder whatever happened to him. That started a need inside of me to give  what I could to the homeless.

Charity is a wonderful system but I got a little disillusioned when I realized there were those who figured out that they can get ‘more than they had already’ by acting as if they were needy.  Sadly, probably even in the caveman example, its possible that when Ugga got his free meat, he went and put it in his closet where he already had meat stockpiled.  Someone discovered it was a great way to get something for nothing.

When I exit the highway on my way to work, there is always someone standing at the light with a sign claiming that they are homeless asking for money.  The person is always different, the sign is always the same, printed on a piece of floppy cardboard, but there is something about them that makes me curious.  They are always fairly clean cut and pretty well dressed.  One time, to my surprise the homeless person was standing listening to an Ipod.  A woman in the car ahead of me was trying to give him money, but he was really into his music and never noticed her efforts.  Perhaps he could have sold his Ipod and had food for a month – or did he collect money for an Ipod and then collect money for food and shelter? One time, presumably during the shift change, the person folded up the sign and hopped into their newer model Ford Explorer.

One morning on the radio was an anonymous man who said he made a pretty good living ‘panhandling’.  He felt if he called it panhandling it sounded like more of a job.  And he wasnt alone-there were many of them out there.

When I was going to buy a new car, I had planned on trading in my old car and the book value was about $4,000.  There was a woman who had worked in our cafeteria (Lets just call her Mabel) who had 7 children and struggled to make ends meet.  She had an abusive boyfriend who would break into her house (allegedly) and break her dishes or break her tv.  She often had a very sad story, and many people that worked there were always anxious to help her.  Around the same time as I was buying a car, her car died and she begged me to sell her my car.  It was tax refund time and she told me she would give me her $1,000 refund for the car.  Otherwise she couldnt get to work.  I agreed and turned over the keys to her.  She was so happy.  I turned over the title to her and she told me to come back in a week for the money.  I came back and there was no Mabel.  I came back the next day and I was told she hadn’t shown up for her job.  About a week later I got a phone call from her sister.  She told me that Mabel had taken the money and gone on a crack binge.  Further she had given the car to a 12 year old who took it out driving and rammed into a police car.  It was in the impound and undrivable. 

I am convinced that she got so used to people at work inviting her over for Christmas and giving her money and taking care of her that suddenly charity was an entitlement to her.

One day I was walking downtown and I gave some money to a homeless man.   I used to live in New York and in Chicago – the homeless there are clearly in need.  Its not hard to tell that they cannot work and really need money. There are some seriously homeless people in those cities.  Minneapolis seems to have a different kind of homeless.  Many are able bodied, just a little sloppy but articulate enough to give you a pretty good speech.  So I gave a man who looked semi-homeless a couple dollars.  About a minute later I felt someone forcefully clutch the back of my neck and spin me around.  I was startled to see that it was a police officer.  He told me (with his words laced with more effenheimers than real words) that the homeless here can get 5 good meals a day, sleep in a warm bed and get counseling for a job.  By giving him money I just made the cop’s job a lot harder because hes just going to use the money to buy booze and crack.

The cop was probably exaggerating quite a bit but his message was clear.

Anyway its sad that just like everything else, something meant for good is  manipulated for someone else’s gain.  If all the dollars and efforts meant for charity actually made it to the needy, it would be great.  Unfortunately it gets diverted to the con artist and the swindler.  

I’ll blog again tomorrow night

Whenever I call and get someone’s voicemail or answering machine, the message always tells me that they can’t answer the phone and I am to leave my name and number and a message.  Don’t we know what to do when someone doesnt answer?   Don’t we know they are not able to answer the phone?  Is it necessary to continue to tell people that?

Some people fill their sinks with water to wash their dishes.  But why do you want to wash your dish in the same dirt that you just washed off your previous dish?

Along those lines, why would you take a bath and soak in your own dirt?  Doesnt the dirt just re-attach to you?

Why was the band AirSupply ever popular?

Why do we let dogs lick our faces?  Don’t dogs eat their own poop and lick the butts of other dogs?

I use to think that the newspaper is one of the greatest values on earth.  For a dollar you get pictures and articles and current information.  But the internet has more and costs less than a dollar a day.  Plus you get the newspaper on there.

Speaking of the internet, it was originally designed to be used in case of a national emergency.  But would they have had to use dial up?

There is service program here - the Neighborhood Improvement Program - that goes by the name of NIP.  Did anyone in that organization ever stop and think that maybe that NIP is not the best acronym to use? 

Did you know you can actually go to a lawn and garden store and buy seeds that grow weeds?  Why do people pay money for weed seeds?

With all the technology and advancements we have made, do we really still have Rinse and Repeat when we wash our hair with shampoo?  Can’t we come up with a shampoo that you only need to use one time?

Whoever invented the couch and the big overstuffed chair should be rich and should receive some kind of award.

I have heard people wonder why it took so long to put wheels on a suitcase.  But I wonder why it took so long to stop making suitcases out of hard heavy plastic and start using fabric.

Why do Northwest Flight attendants have to be so rude?  They don’t serve meals anymore or really have to do anything difficult. 

There are a lot of good things about living in Minnesota.  Minnesota is safe and affordable and there is a semi-urban city to live in.  There are things that drive me crazy about Minnesota. 

I want to preface my comments by saying that my opinions do not apply to everyone in Minnesota. 

Most native Minnesotans have never ventured out of Minnesota.  In fact they usually stay pretty close to where they grew up.  Most Minnesotans you meet have actually grown up here and been there for their entire life.  A few may have ventured out of state, but usually find themselves back in a short period of time.  I’m not criticizing this – there are good points and bad points to this – it must mean they really like it here, but it also means their ability to seek out the best for themselves is nonexistent – “Its good for me as long as its in Minnesota”. However, even if some people have lived in Minnesota their whole lives, it doesnt necessarily mean its a bad thing.  I’m just making a sweeping generaliztion.

But the one thing that drives me crazy is the ever present phrase “Minnesota Nice”.  Having lived in several states and two big cities, I do not think that Minnesotans are at all ‘nice’.  The phrase Minnesota Nice is usually either 1) Uttered by those who have never been anywhere else or 2) Uttered by those who mistake it for Minnesota Naive.

For example when the bridge collapsed last summer, I heard several times about how passers by stopped to help those caught in the disaster.  Thats great and very heroic.  But its always followed by someone attributing it to Minnesota Nice.  As if to say that if it occurred in any other state, passers by wouldnt stop to help?  Did people of New York stop to help those hurt in the 911 disaster?     Last summer after a team lost in the Little League World Series, they spit on their hands before shaking the hands of the winning team.  Where was this team from?  Coon Rapids Minnesota.  PErhaps their parents forgot to teach them about the legend of Minnesota Nice.

Many Minnesotans are naive – mainly because they have not lived anywhere else.  The grew up in rural areas and went to high scools that graduated 50 students in their senior class.  I have found that most Minnesotans are very guarded and suspicious when approached – probably because they are away from their safety nucleus of their 500 person town.  This is the hardest city I have lived in to meet people.  I have heard people take this phrase one step further -  “Minnesotans will always give you directions but never to their house.”

I often wait in lines of traffic going to and from work.  These lines result from single lanes feeding into another highway. (Tractors don’t need two lanes)  The line of traffic is made worse by people who go up the outside lane and then cut in right before the merge.  Are these people shoiwing Minnesota Nice?  What makes them more special that they can skip the line of traffic?  Unfortunately there are those probably driving in from rural Fridley or some other place that just let them right in.  This is Minnesota Naive.

I like to think people are nice in general and not because they live in Minnesota. 

The baseball hat has been around for years and years, and it has served its same purpose for years.  It is used when you dont comb your hair, when you want to keep the sun out of your eyes, when you try to hide a bad haircut, or if you just feel like wearing a baseball hat.  Then a few years ago, something odd began to happen.

When the ‘Thug” mentality started dominating the NBA, players started leaving the tags on the hats.  Stupid.  They would do interviews and you would see a tag hanging by one of those cheap plastic fasteners that you can’t tear and can only cut hanging from the top.  At first I felt sorry for the player – actually embarrassed for him- because he forgot to cut off his tag.

Then the brims started to straighten out, the colors became white and silver and gaudy, the material changed to be the stuff they used to make those cheap John Deere hats out of, and worst of all they started wearing them over their ears.  And the thug style is to wear them crooked.  But its not a careless crooked.  A lot of time is spent trying to make them look like they are put on carelessly.  So suddenly the baseball hat became a fashion hat…and since when did men start wearing fashion hats?  And since when did a man spend so much time trying to correctly put on a baseball hat.  The beauty of a baseball hat is that they just go on without having to think about it.

So the ‘thug’ look has actually become a fashion look and the guys who think they are cool thugs probably spend more time putting on their hats and pulling down their pants than a girl is spending in the bathroom.  Go figure

There must have been something that I  missed – a news show or a worldwide email or a directive from the president that said teens should wear their pants  so that their underwear shows.  I can understand the waitsband sticking out, or some pants that might be a little big, but when the jeans or short s or whatever are down actually below your buttcheeks, something has to be wrong.  Fifteen years ago if you saw someone who’s pants were down on their butt cheeks, you felt sorry for them because they had some type of mental challenge or issue.  In the grocery store the other day i was behind an older teen in the checkout line.  His pants were such that they showed about 3/4 of his underwear, and his underwear had yellow and brown stains that I didnt think needed to be shared with the rest of Cub Foods.  I dont want to see someones feces stains  let alone their underwear.

this cant be comfortable and its certainly not functional.  the other day it started to rain and a kid who had his pants low tried to run to get out of the rain, but he couldnt because he had to hold his pants up.  My guess is that the look started  as a ‘I dont care what I look like – i just throw on some pants and go’ look.  But when you start buying pants to look like that and then spend time in the mirror putting them at the right height and then tightening a belt just right to keep them there, the idea of the look is gone and it starts to become a little odd that a boy is spending so much time to make it look like like he didnt spend any time on his appearance (More on that tomrorow)

I find it hard to believe that high school girls look a t a boy with his pants down and think to themselves “Wow he looks really hot”.  the kid has his pants down! Like he is unable to take care of himself!

thats all for today

My next couple posts are going to about -for the lack of a better word- fashion.  Now let me start by saying that I am not trendy, fashionable or well -dressed.  I do however try to stay somewhere within the last 7 or 8 years, which, if you think about it, is still acceptable. 

My first big fashion mistake has been around forever but recently seems to have become more prevalent.  The culprit is the Sandal.  The sandal is responsible for all kinds of queasy stomachs, disapproving looks, and bewilderment as to how someone could think they should wear the sandal. 

I would say that about 95% of all peoples feet are actually pretty disgusting.  So why do i want to see their feet when I am in the grocery store, on the bus, waiting in line, at a ball game etc?  Two of the most disgusting foot problems that you see in a sandal are 1) someone’s big thick disgusting nail that is all curled around  or 2) their yellow and crusty disgusting nail.  Some people have dry flakey foot skin or hairy feet and toes or feet that just that look as if they have been beaten daily with a hammer and doused with bacteria.  So why do you think we want to see these disgusting feet?  If I had a rash across my back should I parade it around for all to see?

Then you have the sock and sandal man -  and sometimes woman.  Why???  Why are you wearing a sandal to air out your foot but yet putting it in a sock?  Most men’s sandals look like they were made in the days of Jesus.  We have come a long way since then people so lets not repeat mistakes from 50 AD.

Feet were meant to be covered.

I am very interested in writing a series of childrens’ books.  I have hours and hours of stories on CD that I need to get on paper and then submit for publishing.  I would be interested in anyone out there who is knowledgeable about the process and where to start…